Stuck In The Past

Oh Lord Jesus, how many years was I stuck in my past? Typing this looks really bad. The awareness of how silly it seems. How pathetic! What a waste of Gods time,the time, He gave me!

The verses, which God in His infinite wisdom, used to start the process of waking me up are in Deuteronomy 1:6-7. The crux of the chapter is Moses recounting the Israelites travels. God tells them, "You have dwelt long enough at this mountain. Turn and take your journey". And so after twenty some odd years, too much emotional pain and sorrow untold, I stopped going around the same mountain. My past.

Isn't it funny how something like a past can trip you up? How it can reach out and suck you up into a swap of mistakes, regrets, hurts, anger, guilt and unforgiveness? Well believe it or not you can still breathe, do dishes, laundry and go to work in this swap. I would wake up every day and take my place in misery, as if there were no alternatives. How sad!

So sad because I was a daughter of the Most High God. So sad because I was living in the swap of my past wearing the robe of righteousness and the beauty of His holiness. But understand, it was a choice I made everyday, in every situation to live beneath my inheritance. I thought I could fix the mess I had made and all of my resources were focused on the"FIX". The elusive fix.

God had already given me "the FIX"...His Grace. The problem was I would not apply His grace to myself. I wanted to fix it. I wanted to pay the penalty for my sins. That looks really bad as I type it. In other words, I wanted to be God. That looks really, really bad and it is. Wasn't that the very thing that got Satan thrown out of heaven? It was.

So my very first action had to be to humble myself under the mighty hand of God, confess my sins and turn from my wicked ways. Then I had to APPLY HIS GRACE. His unmerited favor to my past, myself and my life. What about you? Do you need to stop going around that same mountain everyday all day long and turn and take your journey with God and His grace?  There is plenty of grace for you. Choose it! Go ahead. He wants you to have it and more than that He want you to APPLY it.