Acceptance

Acceptance is the answer to my problems. Whenever I fail to accept life the way it is, I set myself up for trouble. Let me give you an example. Let's just say Joe is my friend and he is an alcoholic. I know he has this problem but I want him to change. I want him to stop and do life the way I do it, which in my mind is the right way. So because I love and care about Joe, I spend a lot of my time and even more of my thoughts trying to figure out a way to convince Joe of the error of his ways.

But Joe doesn't see it my way. He sees it his way which is to drink excessively, causing a myriad of problems for him and everyone else. But I am stubborn. I just will not accept Joe and give up trying to change him. When I am around him, I nag and his problem is all I can talk about. Does he suddenly realize what I am saying? More than likely not. Now that's Joe, but what about me?

In the course of all this, I am so miserable, frustrated, aggravated and angry I can hardly breathe. When I am not around Joe, I worry and fear for him. I try to figure out what else I can do or say to make him change. I often feel I am going to lose my mind because of him. Do you see the control over my life I have given to him? In essence I have said: "You have the power to make me waste the life, God has given to me, trying to fix you." That is a lot of power!

In failing to accept Joe and his problem, I have given him control/power over my life. Here is what I mean: Joe is driving me crazy. I am losing my mind. I can't sleep. He is making me so unhappy. I am so depressed because of him and his drinking. He doesn't care about me. He never calls me. He doesn't see how this is messing up his life and mine. At this point I start to resent Joe. I may even think I hate him because of how miserable and unhappy my life is. Do you see how not accepting Joe is stealing my peace, my joy, my hope and giving him control of my life? Now understand when I choose to accept someone or a situation that I don't agree with, it does not mean I like it or still don't hope it will change. But acceptance brings peace and joy back to me. I can function in Gods plan for my life without depending on someone or something to give it to me. Because other people are not able to give me what only God can. People doing what I want will not guarantee my happiness. I have to be willing to accept all of life as it is and trust that God is in control of it.

The power we have is our will. We have to give our will/power to God. In other words surrender it. That means saying to God, not my will but Thy will be done. In doing this I am looking to God to fill my cup with His joy and peace in the midst of life. I know I have used alcohol and Joe as the example but you can just change out the name and the situation you may be facing. For instance, she makes me so mad because she spends all her money on shoes and does not pay her bills or she is so rude and disrespectful to me or why do they do drugs all the time? She says she is my friend but I always have to call her. On and on the list could go. It becomes a problem for me when I don't accept that this is the way they do life. It is how they believe they should act or live. They are doing what they think is right regardless of whether it is or not. Until I accept that this is their choice, I am going to be hurt, upset, angry, depressed or miserable. A lot of times we are offended because people are just being who they are. They are not like us. Acceptance is not denial. It is the realization I am just a human being, not God. I can't control people and I should not give them power to control me. In order to do that I give God all the control/power and accept everything as it is.